I was diagnosed with depression at age 16. It began when I was 13. Ever since, I have had a problem when it came to meeting new people. I always over think that they will end up thinking I am weird and will not want to talk to me or be my friend. I know it sounds crazy, but it's the truth.
I was also diagnosed with anxiety. These are both disorders apparently, mentally and also because I have a chemical imbalance. I am mentally unstable and to be honest, I really dislike being made fun of. I do take it personal and no I do not think it is funny.
I was teased plenty growing up (from siblings) and I was teased enough to start believing what they would say. I do not hate my siblings; you must know that these events do bother one at a young age and carry on with them once they are older.
When I am in a crowd, I stress out. I get what is called Social Anxiety. Yes I do have medication for my anxiety, but I hate taking it. I was on medication for depression and stopped taking anti-depressants 2 weeks after being prescribed to them at age 16. They gave me insomnia that lasted 2-3 years. Amazing huh? I nearly went crazy. Eventually my insomnia through out those years turned into just going to bed at 3am and waking up at 5:30am for my senior year of high school and so forth.
So, yes, I am troubled. I guess another question that could be asked is, Well Candy, why don't, you know, turn to a greater, higher power. God. Why do you never mention Him and how He has helped you? Well if I may be blunt, I have been struggling with my beliefs and faith for the past year. I have gotten out of a religion called Apostolic. No offense to those in the religion, but I could not take living that life anymore. I never was in it for myself. I did everything to please my family. Especially my mom. I want to find God on my own. Not being pushed or brought up in a certain faith. God is love and love is real. Well He loves all. Not just a certain faith. And not just a certain faith is the "right one".
Xoxo,
Candy
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