Reality

Sometimes I slip out of reality.
I think, yeah...we can do this...with what money? Who knows....but we can do this.
I believe what I want to believe and forget about how hard it is going to be.
I don't make nearly enough, neither does he...
I am thinking, I can rely on financial aid money...whatever extra dad can give me...and trying to find a better job with more hours...

I truly believe I could do this...but then later I slip back into reality, and know it wont be nearly possible....I mean...I bet it could...it would be very hard.
Money is already tight, and it would be even more tight.

I would cook religiously and make sure we only eat out for special occasions.
I could pack breakfast/lunch...we could make this happen...right?

It's just time....I'm ready. He's ready.

and then I think, where am I putting God in all this? Have I strayed so far that I forgot to ask Him for guidance?
I am so far out of reality right now.

I believe, and I have faith, but is that enough? Have I grown so much bitterness towards the religious organization that I have forgotten what believing is all about? It's not about the rules and the regulations, it's about one sole purpose...and to simply give thanks. For life, for today, for tomorrow, for family, for a crappy paying job, for a wonderful man in my life....

I need to really get back into reality...I need to shape up. Physically and literally!!!!

I need to find a place of worship because I do miss it....I don't miss the politics, however.


A blog not written passed 12am. Kudos Candy, kudos.....