10 years.

The ten year anniversary is coming up...which one you ask? The one where I found out about the life my dad was living behind all of our backs.
The day where my dad chose that family over his blood.
The Father's day of 2000. The day where I made him a card in church and tried to give it to him but he rejected it and couldn't even look at his 11-year-old daughter in the face.


I am dreading this day with all my heart.
I cried so hard that day. I want to cry right now just talking about it.

I forgave him of course, I speak to him, I give him a hug and say "I Love you".
But is it just an act? Is it just because I feel I HAVE too?

You can forgive and TRY to forget...but when the scar is as big as the one that was left on my heart that day.....it is just too hard.

Throughout these ten years, I've grown a lot. I've gone through A LOT. No matter what, God has seen me through it. He saved my life that one night...well many nights. He gave me chances and still does.

His grace has saved me and is still trying to mend my heart...my body...my mind.

He knows the things I saw, heard, and experienced that a young child shouldn't.

He also has shown me love like no other.


I know I my depression and anxiety can get the best of me, but God is there to level it out and not let it take over me.

As I dread this father's day...I will try and remember the GOOD memories with my dad.
All I have is 9years old and younger, of good memories, to live off.

But I have 21 1/2 years of GREAT memories to live off from my Savior, Jesus Christ.

"Although I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou are with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Psalm 23:4


Be blessed.